Disappointment

I just feel such bitter disappointment today, on the heels of this news. I was all set to vote for John Edwards, who I think is the next best thing to Al Gore for President. I honestly don't know who I'll vote for in the upcoming elections; Hillary leaves such a bad taste, and I don't think Obama can beat either of the two Republican frontrunners.

I'm also disillusioned -- with the media, and with the thousands of Democratic voters who have cast their votes for candidates who were late to the table with their plans for the economy, healthcare, and everything else that John Edwards has been planning for since before his bid for the presidency in 2004. I'm sad that Edwards didn't get more media attention, but I suppose in this era of "shock and awe" he just doesn't have the entertainment factor that Hillary vs. Obama does. I feel let down by Democratic voters who purport to want change, but won't back the one man who would have been able to make it happen.

I would love to be a conscientious objector, and just not vote this fall. I won't do that, though -- my voice has to be heard.

I will post an update soon -- life has just been crazy. I have lots of things to share, and am hoping to start some new things here (for my one and only reader).

Photo by Jonathan Walczak.

Note to Y

Do you SEE why I need to win the book? My blog needs help, does it not? Pick me, pick me!

Pool, cup, splash

Oh, my. It's been a while since I've posted. It's not that I've been too busy, just too lazy, I guess.

I talked to Olivia today while she was eating lunch; it seems like whenever Grandma's there, she wants to talk on the phone. She wanted to remind me that while she was visiting in Indiana last week, we went in the pool, with a cup, and we made a splash! It's everything she knows about time she's spent with me, or everything her little noggin can remember. I'm impressed... that was over a week ago, so I guess I made a little bit of an impression.

I'm off to visit the fam this weekend, and will be gone for a WHOLE week. Away from the bunnies, piggies, and cat; away from the house and the jungle... err, yard; away from that dreadful dungeon they call a cubicle at work. I'm excited to go away, me and my new camera, where I'm planning to take lots of pictures of just about everything. I'll try to upload to flickr and post, but internet access may be an issue, since RC doesn't have wifi! I may have to get him all hooked up while I'm there. I AM tech support in this family, you know.

Skirting the issue

So... it's been a while. How ya been? Anything new? No? Me neither.

Which explains the lack of posting. And now I will distract you with pretty fabrics...

I have a love/hate thing with skirts. I had to wear them for most of my years in grade school and high school, and I think I really stopped wearing them because of the connotations they held for me. High school was not a happy time for me -- I attended a very rigid Christian school, where rules about the length of your sleeves, skirts, pants (but only for the boys!), and hair, among other things, were strictly enforced.

That was 15 years ago, however, and I'm beginning to love skirts again! My only problem now is finding the right skirt for my body -- I'm 5'2", and I let's just say I weigh 50+ lbs. more than I should. Most skirts aren't made for short/round, so even if I find the right style, I can't find the right size. I bought this pattern last year, and some really cute brown fabric that has turquoise emroidered floral accents with buttons... but I never made the skirt. Mom has the sewing machine in Georgia, and it's so hard to find the time to sew when I'm there to visit the girls.

This time when I visit, I'm going to dedicate a day to sewing, and I'm comin' back home with some new, cute skirts. I really love Amy Butler's fabrics, and I'm hoping to buy some of this design:



and this design:



and maybe even this design:




I also really like Amy's new skirt pattern, but I don't think I have the time or skill for that just yet.

ETA: I love fabric. Is it hereditary? My aunt has had rooms and even an RV full of fabrics since I was a little kid, more than any one person could use in a lifetime. I could become seriously addicted. And I can't even sew that well.

Mama needs a brand new bag

So, spring is officially here, and it's time for a new everyday bag. I started carrying a small messenger bag late last summer, so I definitely need something similar, but I'm having such a hard time deciding. Internet, what would you do? Here are some of my options...

I love this one from Timbuk2. It's the same size as the wool messenger I've been carrying, but I think I'd like something just a little larger:


I also like this one from Timbuk2, and it definitely meets the "little larger" qualification:


And this one, from eBags:


I also wonder about a nicer, more work-appropriate bag, like this one from eBags:


Or this one, also from eBags, that looks more like one of the Petunia Picklebottom diaper bags to me than a business case:


Then there's the messenger bags at QueenBee Creations; I love all of them, but especially this one:


and this one:


How will I ever decide?? HELP!

Phobia-schmobia

I've never been terribly afraid of the unknown. I don't worry or fret about things that are beyond my control, but I like to be prepared for the things that are within it. I'm not afraid to fail, or of disappointing other people; I figure everyone fails and disappoints at some time or another. I'm not afraid of thunderstorms, scary movies don't bother me, and I rarely have nightmares. I'm not afraid to be alone - I eat out by myself, go to the movies by myself, drive long distances by myself, and I actually relish the time since I don't have to be "on" for anyone else; I can just be.

Things I am afraid of:

• I am afraid of falling on stairs, both up or down. And not just falling on stairs, but also hitting my front teeth and knocking them loose as I fall. I am actually less concerned with the thought of breaking any bones than I am about the possibility that I might fall on a stair step, mouth open, and knock out my teeth.


• I am afraid of spiders, although I have had to learn to get over it since I moved out of my parent's home. Nobody but me kills them at my house, and I have to kill them. There's no other option. I am NOT going to wake up one morning to find a big, hairy spider sitting on the pillow next to me. My weapon of choice is a can of brake cleaner. I don't know what's in the stuff, and I don't use it around the animals, but it certainly can kill a spider.


• I am afraid of leaving this job. I've been here for so long that the thought of looking for something different is almost paralyzing. I'm not opposed to doing something completely different, but it gives me the heebie-jeebies to imagine learning new things, meeting new people.


• I am afraid of getting dumber. When I was a kid, I was one of the smartest kids I knew. I'm not bragging here (okay, maybe a little) when I tell you that I taught myself to read at the age of 3, or that I always read books that were several levels above the recommended books for my age. I excelled in all academic subjects, and even graduated high school early. Outside of academics, I was able to have intelligent conversation with deep thinkers, and I could actually write halfway decent essays. I think there must be some kind of smart-time continuum, much like there is a space-time continuum, where your brain may be more advanced but at some time, the two lines intersect and you become dumb. At least I think it's the space-time continuum I want to reference here. Could be the flux capacitor. See, I used to know this, but now I'm dumber!
  

Superbowl... super KRAZEE!

Colts Horseshoe
Originally uploaded by mar52laine.

Wait, has hell frozen over? Have the heavens parted? Can YOU see the pearly gates?

I've lived here for 20 years this year, and have listened to my family go on and on and on and on about the Indianapolis Colts since I was but a babe-in-arms. I've been hearing disappointment in their voices for lo these many years, and I have to say, I thought they were all nuts. Until tonight.

In case you missed it, the Indianapolis Colts actually won! They beat "da Bears"... the Chicago Bears of my childhood. I grew up in the northern part of the state, so for me tonight's game was sort of a win-win. I'd have been happy if the Bears won, but I'm a little more thrilled at the Colts win. Good for them!!

Crunch

Crunch
Originally uploaded by Little Miss Magic.

I know not every post needs a picture, but this just wouldn't work without it.

I left work early today to take one of the bunnies to the vet. I drove home, packed Hazel up, put him in the car, drove all the way to the vet, got out of the car to take him, and discovered that someone has apparently bashed in the rear quarter panel on the passenger side of my car. I AM LIVID.

Normally this would only infuriate me a little bit. Yes, some asshat hit my car and then drove away without leaving any contact information. But what really has my knickers twisted is the fact that the very same thing happened to me almost exactly one year ago. Someone backed into my parked car a year ago, on the completely opposite side (front driver side). And I JUST had it repaired in December! Just got it back from the repair shop! If it weren't for bad luck, I don't think I'd have any luck.

The Spectra has been a problem from the beginning. I had never bought a car by myself before, but I needed a reasonably-priced replacement for my Oldsmobile Alero. I loved the Alero, and never had so much as a scratch -- probably because it was leased (or as my brother likes to say, just a rental). The list of indignities goes something like this:

The very same night I bought the car a ginormous rock popped up out of nowhere, thrown up by a passing vehicle, and left an equally ginormous ding, which I've never had repaired.

The following Monday, I backed into someone pulling out of a parking space -- neither car was really damaged, just a scrape on my bumper that I've never bothered to fix.

The car was swallowed by a giant pothole in January 2005, the day before my birthday. The factory rim was so badly bent that it ruined the tire, so I pulled over and called my 24/7 roadside assistance. The tow truck driver tried to jack the car up using the wrong kind of jack, causing damage to the rocker panel on the passenger side. Again, I've never had it fixed.

So... now I just want to be done with it. I wasn't planning to replace this car for a couple more years, but now... we'll see.

At least the bunny got a (mostly) clean bill of health.

How old do I look??

Apparently, there's some misconception about my age in the general community. More and more frequently I'm noticing that people -- mostly of the older, female persuasion -- seem determined to infantilize me. I don't mind being carded, even by waitresses or bartenders younger than me, but being called "darlin'", "little girl", "sweetheart", or "baby girl" by the cashier at McDonald's or the over-40's waitress at Ruby Tuesday's is a bit much. Do I look that young? You, internet, you be the judge:

1996



2006



Do I really look any older than I did at 20? My grandmother always had a young face, as does my mother, and both have told me that one day I'll be glad. For now, I just wish people would treat me with respect, regardless of my age. R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

The behinder I get...

So I haven't posted since July 7. What of it? You wanna mess with me? I didn't think so.

This has been an interesting month, financially. I've been planning/wishing/hoping/dreaming of purchasing a laptop for a LONG time, but since I currently live credit-free (except for the mortgage) it's been a very unlikely plan/wish/hope/dream. Until I decided to rob my 401k.

Now, don't get your panties in a twist... I have taken 401k loans before, and while I realize it's not the ideal way to finance my champagne tastes, at least I am paying myself back with interest. I took enough money to purchase a couple of big ticket items, some small ticket items, and some continuing ed for my "career". (Aside: Addicted to bags much? I actually bought another messenger bag from Dakine, and decided I didn't like it. Damn you, eBags!)

I also had to shell out over $500 in vet care -- people don't realize how expensive vet care for small animals really is! One bunny surgery and two guinea pig exams later... some of that 401k loan went that way. Some of it will go to repair the left front fender on my car where some insurance-less asshat backed into it, PARKED ON A RESIDENTIAL STREET, over 6 months ago. Stupid deductibles, and stupid insurance company that didn't tell me I needed to specify that I wanted uninsured motorist coverage to avoid paying the stupid deductible.

I'm trying to be more financially savvy, really. Little known fact about me: I filed Chapter 13 almost 2 years ago, and have just a little over a year left to continue with my "voluntary wage assignment". I don't talk about the bankruptcy, because it's not the kind of thing you mention in casual conversation. I've tried to keep up appearances -- I got to keep my house and car, and I still have enough money left each month to make it appear to the casual bystander that I'm in decent financial shape. But I struggle to make ends meet every month, and despite the fact that I'm supposed to be living on a budget, I'm not. My parents have bailed me out many, many times, and occasionally I've had to let my DirecTV service go for a couple of weeks until I got paid again.

Anyway, I'm thankful for blogs I've found recently, like this one, and this one, and this message board at MSN Money. I'm not the only one struggling with a budget, or with a bad financial past... and it's so great to know that. The most recent post at The Naked Ledger talks about how to go about creating a budget, and I really like Amanda's receipts-in-an-envelope system. I've been trying to write everything down in my little purse notebook, but I invariably forget something, or forget for a couple of days, and then it's shot for the week. I'm going to try her system for the next couple of months and see what my expenses really are. I'm scared. VERY scared.

Red, white, and BLUE

I hate holiday weekends. There, I said it. I'm tired of being alone on the holidays -- no boyfriend, no family around, all my friends (married or otherwise) have plans already. I don't want to just sit around on the couch like a vegetable on the 4th, but can't think of anything to do all by myself.

Any suggestions?

Catching up

So, an awful lot has happened since I last posted in *gasp* February! I sort of waffled about whether or not to continue doing this -- I'm not really writing for an audience, but rather to just get things down on paper. Sort of. So, I've decided I'll give it another shot. My life is about to turn a little topsy-turvy, so why not put it out there for anyone who wanders by to read about?

Shortly after my last post, I found out I'm going to be an aunt for the first time. My younger brother followed the love of his life to Georgia 2 years ago, and they've been off-again/on-again ever since. They moved in together (finally) at the beginning of this year, and shortly thereafter, he knocked her up. Anyway, my parents will be moving at the end of October to be there before the baby comes, and for anyone who knows me, this is a H-U-G-E deal. HUGE. MONSTROUS. My parents are the source of entertainment, my free meal tickets, and general support system in the absence of a large circle of friends. Mom is my best friend -- and while I know I'll still be able to talk to her every day, I feel like someone sucker-punched me with this whole baby thing.

See, as petty as this may sound, it was supposed to be ME that went through all of this first, not him. I'm the oldest. I'm supposed to be married, with at least 1 kid already. Instead, I'm about as far away from married as you can get, and my furry animals are my child-substitutes. Now, I do sort of like my life -- but I couldn't help feeling irrationally jealous about the whole thing when he first told me. I'm fine now -- I'm SO excited to be an aunt, I can hardly wait for her to get here! I'm not happy about being so 750 miles away, while they all get to see her and touch her and play with her every day... the best I can do is drive down for a visit every 3 months or so.

Which brings me to... general work unsatisfaction (is that a word?). I'm beginning to hate my job so, so much. I've been doing this for 5 years, internet, and it's just evolved so much since I started, and I'm not sure I've evolved along with it. I like to think I've adapted, but I can't see for sure that I have. And of course, we're about to evolve further, and naturally, without proper training for all involved. Yeah-rah, Corporate America!! So, I find that I'm staying for 1) the benefits (which, for me, includes 28 days of PTO per year since I've been here so freakin' long), and 2) the pay ('cause I can't make this much money without a degree anywhere else). If it weren't for those 2 things, I'd be packin' it in and moving to Georgia along with everyone else!

SLACKER

I... am such a slacker. Not only have I neglected my "online journal" for an entire week, but I have -- once again -- procrastinated myself into a corner with my biology labwork. Are the litterboxes clean and fresh? Nope. Has the carpet been swept anywhere in the house? Nope. Of course, I'm learning about myself in this process.

I have discovered Messies Anonymous. I am, apparently, a Messie. I'm so glad to know there's a name for it, and something other than pure L-A-Z-Y to attribute it to. Anyway, I'm reading The New Messie's Manual, and so far I'm finding it interesting.

Oh, and while I'm reinventing myself this week, I decided to go ahead and work on that tardiness problem I seem to have at work. Only at work, mind you. I found this book when I Googled the term "chronic lateness". Imagine, someone wrote a book about it! And I can blame that little problem on more than just a bad habit, too. Seems I get to let myself off pretty easy, eh?

Oh, in the grand scheme of life I suppose it doesn't really matter. How could it when you have this face to smoosh each day?

You suck, and that's sad!

I found the coolest book to send a friend for Valentine's day... "It's Happy Bunny: Love Bites" by Jim Benton. She is single, like me, and will totally appreciate this book and all that it stands for. Oh, and in my Google search for Happy Bunny products online, I discovered that:


I am the "you suck, and that's sad"
happy bunny. I'm truthful, but can be a bit
brutal.

which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Fun, no?